Oh Lord, who lies somewhere
(who probably isn't there),
Save us.
Save us from alarm clocks
that enact tragedy
and march us into our showers with megaphones made for camps.
Save us from the ghosts of housemates
who are announced only by the opening and closing of doors,
whose T.V. peace is disturbed by our loud weird taste in music,who keep us awkward when they argue with their partner about when to do the laundry, where to go on holiday and why he posted naked pictures of himself on the Internet.
Save us from the estate agents
who never call us back,
who sit in plastic offices in polyester suits with polystyrene coffee cups plotting the downfall of the young.
Save us from the pictures of everyone
who is having a better time than us.
Save us from the sex
which we make to mean nothing
and which personally I think isn't really for me.
And save us
finally
from ourselves.
For we know not what we do,
we don't know where we're going,
don't know who we'll live with next year.
We can't be sure we'll ever fuck again,
fall in love again,
write draw read scrawl scribble scrape again.
We don't know what we're having for dinner tonight.
For confused is your name,
and you can keep your Kingdom
and the Power
and the Glory,
as long as in return
we gain the knowledge
that we will never stay the same
and also never change.
Chris James Hall October 29 2012
Very poetic. I must remember the 'ghosts of housemates', sums it up pretty well. I would argue, however, that the not knowing what we are doing or where we are going is somewhat liberating. Daunting sure, but liberating too. Maybe 'The Thirtysomething's Prayer' will be asking for freedom from the constraints of responsibility, from the perceived rigidness of whatever path our lives have been set upon. Might we not lose some of our freedom in becoming more grounded? I suppose it is possible that any certainty gained will be greatly appreciated. I guess only time will tell. In the meantime I'm quite happy to enjoy the, admittedly slightly scary, excitement of not knowing where things are going. I suppose it simply comes down to differences in perspective and whether you crave certainty or enjoy the thrill of the unknown.
ReplyDeleteI think that you do raise a good point that there is something enthralling about the unknown. But it is still very much the unknown. It's almost the kind of freedom that's like drifting. You can choose to drift and not know where you're drifting to, but is that true freedom, or the refusal of freedom for the safety of the unknown?
ReplyDeleteThat said, I agree that once I find my feet, I'll probably crave the drift again, which is just human nature.
Anyway, thanks for the comment. Feedback is always very much appreciated!
That is a fair point. There seems to be a situational element as well. As you have a job there is at least one thing providing a tether. Sure you could leave and choose somewhere or something new but, at least for now, why would you?
ReplyDeleteWhereas, I've put off the inevitable job hunt in favor of one more years study. At this point I could be anywhere in 6 months time and who knows what I'll be doing. And there in lies some freedom. I can choose what I want to apply for and where I want to look. The safety of the unknown also comes in here though, in the putting off of job applications- far easier to forget about next year than actually have to face the questions of where and what.
Admittedly this all relies on actually finding a job and to some extent you have to go where there is work. Otherwise 6 months from now I will have no real choice but to move back in with my parents and spend my days job hunting. That doesn't feel like freedom.
Ultimately the sad fact is that money makes the world go round and until I have a few more pennies to my name I am somewhat at the mercy of the graduate job market.
Yeah, getting a job really is the tethering factor. But as I am still (just about) in my early 20s, I do feel the need to cut all ties and flee somewhere. That somewhere will probably be to do a graduate degree, as that was my intention alla long. So I almost have the drive to do the opposite of what a lot of people do, get a job AND THEN throw it away. But throw it away in order to do the things I wanted to do in the first place.
ReplyDeleteBasically, it's difficult. And yeah, it is sad that money is the centre of so much, but there are things you can do, like working for a non-profit organisation or a charity or just doing something that isn't focused solely on money. They're small things, but it's one way of being idealistic and being able to eat at the same time I guess.